Fantasy Fantasy Football season is upon us.

"HammerheadFistpunch" (hammerheadfistpunch) 08/09/2017 at 11:43 • Filed to: None

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Just got invited to join a department Fantasy Football league. Given that I have no cares to give about football or having fantasies about it here is the response I sent back:

“Thanks for thinking of me! I can’t say I have much interest in the sport, but you are all recruited to my fantasy fantasy football league. It’s where I build a team of fantasy football players and score their moral wins and losses on a week by week basis; get ribbed for your pick by someone? I loose a point. Do the ribbing, I get a point. At the end of the season I both win and loose so I celebrate/console myself by having a delicious lunch of my choosing.

I’ll be checking in with each of you as the season progresses, best of luck!”

So...who wants to be on my league?

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > HammerheadFistpunch 08/09/2017 at 11:47

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We need an Oppo fantasy basketball league; the football and baseball leagues take way too much effort

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > HammerheadFistpunch 08/09/2017 at 11:47

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I don’t football either. When you elevate it to fantasy leagues it gets even worse. I used to do tour de france fantasy cycling league with my friends, the winner got unlimited tacos of their choosing, as much as you can eat in one sitting. I think I ate 8 tacos once.

For Sweden > HammerheadFistpunch 08/09/2017 at 11:48

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Football is good hhfp

Wacko > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras 08/09/2017 at 11:55

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hockey

CalzoneGolem > HammerheadFistpunch 08/09/2017 at 11:59

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My old boss insisted I play in his fantasy league despite knowing nothing about the sport. I made some algorithm based on alphabetical order and the sum of the numerical values of the team names. I did not do well.

HammerheadFistpunch > CalzoneGolem 08/09/2017 at 12:01

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The important thing is that you have a system.

PS9 > HammerheadFistpunch 08/09/2017 at 12:02

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I’ll play fantasy football, but I’m not using the NFL football guys. This is fantasy football. Why should I restrict myself to reality? So:

Coach: Professor X
Assistant Coach: Batman
QB: Goku
HB: Vegeta
FB: Superman
Defensive Line: Juggernaut, Green Hulk, Red Hulk, Majin Buu (fat version) Hulkbuster Ironman, Swamp Thing

Winning play 1: Goku uses instant transmission to teleport himself and the ball to the touchdown zone.

Winning play 2: Goku tosses the ball to superman, who travels to the endzone unimpeded.

Winning play 3: Goku and superman have a friendly conversation while the worlds most unstoppable defensive line destroys whatever scrubs attempt to take the ball. The convo ends when they reach touchdown

Winning Play 4: Batman and professor x devise a play so perfect and unassailable that it cannot be challenged, no matter who is on the opposing team.

RiceRocketeer Extraordinaire > HammerheadFistpunch 08/09/2017 at 12:45

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Depends how hardcore they are. Draft auction/salary cap/keeper league? Pass.

Otherwise, for the last 7 years I let the computer systems draft my team automatically and during the season replaced injured or benched players with the highest available Yahoo-ranked player at that position. I ended up winning 3 of the last 7 years despite not watching any games nor really knowing who any of the non-superstar players are. Paid for a few nice steak dinners.

pip bip - choose Corrour > HammerheadFistpunch 08/10/2017 at 06:41

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i’m coming last in our workplace footy tipping comp

gmporschenut also a fan of hondas > HammerheadFistpunch 08/10/2017 at 22:17

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I hate football and my last place was intolerable during the season. First 10min of every meeting was folks reviewing their stats discussing trades.